Made in Heaven

Manual to the Jewish wedding. The author, an outstanding expert and the popular writer in Judaism, describes and explains laws and customs of wedding ceremony and gives practical advices and offers on preparation and preparations for wedding

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INTRODUCTION

R. Pinchas Stolper

Being accomplished in heaven - a unique and extremely important book . It explores the numbering many, many years of marriage ceremony , which is considered the foundation of the oldest , most ancient human institution - the family.

The book is being accomplished in heaven debunks many myths and superstitions. It provides an understanding of rites and rituals , which appeared in the early days of human existence. This book is not just a guide for those who want to make a real Jewish wedding . In it , after all , explains the roots and meaning of many of the customs and traditions of the Jewish wedding ceremony. In this regard , practical advice combine it with explanations of ideas and concepts that were first published in English .

Jewish marriage - not a partnership . Correct to describe it as a merger . Each family member has their rights and duties , each retains its identity. Her husband n wife expect that they will lose control of personal, selfish goals , if they are contrary to the interests and Tse - lyami Union. Thus, creating and developing a new "identity" , called the family. And in this new unity of husband and wife can develop their skills and raise children who become human in the highest sense of the word.

Marriage - one of the most difficult tasks of life and at the same time, one of the greatest paradoxes. How can two strangers who have entirely different experiences , all of a sudden a house in which they will live together in peace and harmony, together ranking that will enable them and their children to achieve happiness and well-being? Can they give up their selfish motives, their desires for the sake of creating a house that , according to Jewish tradition, is considered to be a sanctuary , a place where the higher ideals of life can give wonderful results ?

What is a Jewish marriage ?

Until recently , most people believed the institution of marriage for granted . In practice, the general and widespread acceptance of this institution is hardly surprising. But in today's society , where not a single aspect of life you can not avoid scrutiny of rational thought and science, we should not give up as much as possible the establishment of such an objective study of humanity. This will help us to better understand and appreciate its importance to modern society.

Why is marriage and the family are so important to human society ? Why is " lonely" , "happy" people should voluntarily deprived of their freedom and independence, to share life with is " unknown " to him a woman?

Why would a man to feed the " stranger " to provide her with housing, buy clothes , take care of "her" children and give them an education ? Why does a person takes over, and it is absolutely free , all of these responsibilities? And yet, even in this era when marriage and family are under constant attack , when young people are told endlessly doctrine of so-called "free " lifestyle statistics dispassionately notes that the number of marriages is not very different from the number of entering into a marriage relationship the old days . It seems that the motivation to join the stable family relationships - a part of our nature . Perhaps this is due to the desire to love and be loved, and we need a constructed nature and self-assertion , in the house where you can mature and build a family and raise children.

For this reason, the Jewish law encourages people to marry , and the sooner - the better. It is noteworthy that in many families living under the laws of the Torah , young people often end up teaching after marriage . Waiting for the wedding - quite a painful lesson for the guy , and for the girls - especially . Therefore, early marriage avoids feelings, stress and other negative emotions. Young couple can start their journey together to achieve common aspirations in life .

Marriage - a kind of mystical power that drives a man and a woman unite and build a foundation on which you can trace the main provisions of the life of the program , to create a home where Gd is always welcome, where He wants to dwell .

The Talmud (Tractate Yebamos , 62 b) states directly that " He who spends his days with no wife, no joy, no blessing , no goodness ." In the Torah also laid the "Bill of Rights ", which gives Jewish woman 's unique status and position in the house . Its basis is the commandment , according to which a Jew , regardless of whether he is poor or is in a difficult position should meet the needs of his wife " for food, clothing and the right to intimacy ."

Family - the indispensable social institution for the creation and formation of the person. Without a family can not create a healthy , full fledged personality.
Two people must act in concert to create a third . Supreme act of human creativity takes two to merge into one, to generate a new identity . If two people behave as one, they can lead to land a new soul and a new man, thus making Gd third partner in the new miracle of creation. Gd gave man the ability to imitate His crowning achievement of creation , creating a child. When we create a child, we literally " play Gd ." But if the child - the fruit of lust , or only one physical passion , if a child is conceived in violation of the laws of Gd - that we create for the child ?

Human Drama cooperation with Gd in creation does not end with the birth of the child. And after the birth of the father and mother have to live together in family union . Then you can bring up children and to give them an education so that they can grow up to be people who can fulfill their spiritual destiny . Everyone pretty much is an what it did the parents and family . If parents succeed in this way , children can surpass them. Jewish parents are always looking to raise children who will achieve more than they themselves are able to very successfully fulfill its human destiny .

In historical terms , it is a Jewish family , and not a synagogue, is the main institution of Jewish life and community. In fact , it is in a family setting to take the most important decisions in her acquired experience of Jewish life. The synagogue , at best, play a secondary role.

Jewish Family has long been considered a model of harmony , love and stability - the envy of the civilized world. The very manifestation of social evils that undermine and destroy modern society - divorce , prostitution, adultery , wife-beating , youth crime - until recently virtually unknown unassimilated Jews , leading a traditional way of life. Although religious Jews in America were not able to completely avoid the tendency to allow the development of a new generation of family issues in divorce. However, the difference in the percentage of divorces still shows a significant qualitative difference .

For the Jewish men , marriage - not a matter of personal preference, but an obligation . The Talmud ( Shabbat 31a ) says that in the next world , first of all , the person will be asked three questions: " Were you honest when buying and selling ? Whether to leave you some time to study the Torah ? Did the family do you ? " . Bachelorhood - bad luck , a good wife - the delight of life. According to Jewish law , divorce is easy enough , but very few have resorted to this measure. Jews who observe the law and tradition, belonged to the family life very seriously, and created a stable , strong family and supportive atmosphere . They have spared no effort to strengthen the family , and resorted to divorce only after a lot of perseverance and sincere attempts to save the marriage is definitely not successful.

Family ties and family relationships are sacred . Marriage and family - are integral parts of the Creator's plan . Love that draws together a man and a woman is sacred in the eyes of Gd. For Jews , the family - the leading force that plays a crucial role in the formation of a God-fearing man , and in the creation of the house, inhabited by Gd . If this house is dedicated to Gd and His word - the law , then he becomes the center around which revolves the entire Jewish life .
Marriage means the union of two people, two personalities , two minds , two wills , two talents, not only at a certain point , but - always. Marriage - something much more than two people with a common bedroom. It means that two people share with each other their life. Their relationship is so harmonious that , thinking and acting as one, they are ready to connect to bring a child into this world . The value of this union is so great that he is the point from which mankind emerged . Marriage - it is one human institution that can create the fruit of the most cherished hopes and dreams of man.

It is hoped that , armed with a deeper understanding of a Jewish wedding , the reader will be able to come to the most joyous day of my life with a deep sense of responsibility and a clear understanding that every family can devote his life to the pursuit of the ideals described in this book.